Divorce...

No, not a moan about my parents getting divorced. Because they aren't. Promise.

My problem is my estranged godmother.

Ok, so from the start: Today my friend Anne (not her real name) told me that her mother had walked out on her on Thursday night. She's been hiding it from everyone she knows because she's too afraid to tell anyone in case they pity her.

I told my mam, because she explained that her mam had stolen over £4,000 on her (which was supposed to be for her college fees this term). So she's on financial aid starting Christmas.

My mam explained about my aunt and uncle's nasty divorce. My uncle had a barring order placed on him, because she said (and I quote): "On Thursday, the XX of X, 19XX, at XX:XXpm Ron (not his real name) looked in the window at our eldest daughter, Emma (her real name), while she was in the shower.

At the time, Ron was in the car with my mother and uncle, talking about how his marriage was in trouble, and he didn't know what to do. They spoke for over an hour. Mam and uncle both stood up at the legal separation hearing to say this. They got separated, and the barring order was lifted.

That year, my mam's family didn't buy Emma a Christmas present, with good reason. She lied about my uncle MOLESTING her. So, in retaliation, Sharon (not her real name) took the presents that Tom, Ellen and Peter (fake names) got off that side of the family - out of their hands - and binned them. Tom was 11, Ellen was 8 and Peter was only 5. Who does that to a child?

Even now, when Tom's 24, Ellen's 21 and Peter's 17, she's still doing it. Ellen's 18th birthday three years ago, she got €350 off my grandmother and two of our uncles. Her mother took it off her - to pay for the Gaeltacht. Which she had gone to age 16.

I haven't seen my godmother in 14 years. Correction - I see her every fucking day I'm in work, because she lives opposite work. She even comes in, but she doesn't even look at me, even if I'm on the till.

My last present off her, I was two. She got me a cheap bracelet that she picked up in Penneys. I still have it.

It scares me that she's effectively disowned me. If anything happens to my parents, their will states: "If our children are minors, they shall be cared for by whichever godparent is better able to.". My godfather has two babies, and is struggling in the recession. If anything happens to them, I'll either live with my elderly grandmother, or go into care. Because I KNOW that she won't come to find me.

She didn't even go to my grandfather's funeral. And she was the one he remembered out of all the grandkids.